Whenever you get the chance to sit back, and reflect on your life, what is your conclution?
Are you happy with your accomplishments? Are you feeling pleased where you stand? Is something missing?
Now your probably thinking something like 'everyone is missing someone or something all the time, no matter how much they work to get it.'
Well, if you were; you're probably right. The sad thing is that people always have a tendency to pursue what they don't possess- more money, better friends, better jobs, more success, the list could probably go on and on.
Why can't we just be happy with what we've got?
I'm sitting here, right now thinking about this. In some ways, I am so happy i could burst. I have everything i need, and more. My daughter is growing bigger and stronger and smarter, getting more beautiful by the minute. But still i have this feeling inside. I can't even name this feeling. So i am gonna take a wild guess and say it is because there's something- maybe even someone, missing in my life.
I could say I feel depressed and sad, confused and angry, frustrated, and scared even. And I honestly don't think i would be exagerating. It's like a big ball inside of me i can't seem to get rid of. And even if I do know I'm ok, We are ok, I can't make it disappear.
so what do I have to do to get rid of it then?
Accomplish my goals? But what are my goals? All i can see, is crossroads, one after the other.
And the worst part: Whatever I think about doing, what I feel might be something i should do, or want to do, I get held back. And i don't even think they know they are the ones holding me back. Maybe it's not even their fault. It's just who they are.
Maybe it's just my heart feeling to much. I mean, why should I feel bad for doing something I want? Why do I always consider others feelings, before my own, when I KNOW that's ludacris. I always tell people to be selfish to a certain degree. "Think of yourself! If your loved ones are gonna be ok, YOU have to be ok. If your loved ones are to be happy, YOU have to be happy. How do you accomplish this? Pursue your dreams! Tell yourself you can do this!"
Why can't I follow my own advice?
Maybe it's not the people around me holding me back. Maybe it is me.
Would make sence. It's not their fault I can't respect myself.
Because that is what it is all about. Respecting yourself. If I respected myself, I would do more to get what I want. But instead I go by others wishes.
Or maybe I'm just scared, just making up excuses as I go.
wich one is it?
All in all, I am just a confused lady with inner conflicts, I guess you would say.
I'm probably not the only one.
- I am happy. I am happy. I wouldn't trade this life for anything. I don't know what i would do without Sol Angelica. My sunshine in this somewhat cloudy world. And offcourse there's my wonderful friends, and family, last but not least. They are all great.
But they cannot give what I need. Obviously. If they did, would I be feeling this then?
Probably not.
But I am gonna go to bed now, knowing I am loved, knowing that I love, knowing I have reasons to live, no matter what is lacking. whatever is not there, will come around at some point if it is meant to be. Don't you think?
I love you all, you color my world!
Are you happy with your accomplishments? Are you feeling pleased where you stand? Is something missing?
Now your probably thinking something like 'everyone is missing someone or something all the time, no matter how much they work to get it.'
Well, if you were; you're probably right. The sad thing is that people always have a tendency to pursue what they don't possess- more money, better friends, better jobs, more success, the list could probably go on and on.
Why can't we just be happy with what we've got?
I'm sitting here, right now thinking about this. In some ways, I am so happy i could burst. I have everything i need, and more. My daughter is growing bigger and stronger and smarter, getting more beautiful by the minute. But still i have this feeling inside. I can't even name this feeling. So i am gonna take a wild guess and say it is because there's something- maybe even someone, missing in my life.
I could say I feel depressed and sad, confused and angry, frustrated, and scared even. And I honestly don't think i would be exagerating. It's like a big ball inside of me i can't seem to get rid of. And even if I do know I'm ok, We are ok, I can't make it disappear.
so what do I have to do to get rid of it then?
Accomplish my goals? But what are my goals? All i can see, is crossroads, one after the other.
And the worst part: Whatever I think about doing, what I feel might be something i should do, or want to do, I get held back. And i don't even think they know they are the ones holding me back. Maybe it's not even their fault. It's just who they are.
Maybe it's just my heart feeling to much. I mean, why should I feel bad for doing something I want? Why do I always consider others feelings, before my own, when I KNOW that's ludacris. I always tell people to be selfish to a certain degree. "Think of yourself! If your loved ones are gonna be ok, YOU have to be ok. If your loved ones are to be happy, YOU have to be happy. How do you accomplish this? Pursue your dreams! Tell yourself you can do this!"
Why can't I follow my own advice?
Maybe it's not the people around me holding me back. Maybe it is me.
Would make sence. It's not their fault I can't respect myself.
Because that is what it is all about. Respecting yourself. If I respected myself, I would do more to get what I want. But instead I go by others wishes.
Or maybe I'm just scared, just making up excuses as I go.
wich one is it?
All in all, I am just a confused lady with inner conflicts, I guess you would say.
I'm probably not the only one.
- I am happy. I am happy. I wouldn't trade this life for anything. I don't know what i would do without Sol Angelica. My sunshine in this somewhat cloudy world. And offcourse there's my wonderful friends, and family, last but not least. They are all great.
But they cannot give what I need. Obviously. If they did, would I be feeling this then?
Probably not.
But I am gonna go to bed now, knowing I am loved, knowing that I love, knowing I have reasons to live, no matter what is lacking. whatever is not there, will come around at some point if it is meant to be. Don't you think?
I love you all, you color my world!
